something you didn't know..maybe

I along with two of my cousins are having babies. HA, just like our parents, five of my cousins including me were born all in the same year. My older cousin is about 6 weeks and my younger cousin is due around march. Well, as for me I'm already at about 4 months, its kinda exciting.

It seems like I'm getting bigger each day and I'm eatting alot more, which is a good thing. All I hope and wish for is to have a healthy baby. I find myself saying little prayers for God to bless this world with a beautiful and healthy child. I've had alot of thinking to do and it seems like I've made my decision.

Back when I first found out I was pregnant, my first thought was I can't have this baby. So I thought about aboration. Even went so far to making the appointment and arranging money for it. The first week after making the decision to get an abortion I cried just about everyday. I knew in my heart I was killing an inncoent baby, no matter how small he or she is it's still a growing human inside me.
Days before my appointment, I thought alot and realized this was the best thing for me. Any other curumstances I would keep the baby. Arriving at the clinic was somewhat strange. My mom and I walked over to the front of the building (we parked in the back), and there was a lady handing out flyers and saying not to get the aboration done. We still walked in, I signed in and waited for my name to be called. One of the nurses called my name, as I walked to the back into a room where they checked how far along I was. 14 weeks, two more weeks than what I was told at planned parenthood. I was shocked, 14 weeks is pretty far along in the pregnancy but I could still get the aboration.
So many thoughts were running through my head, I thought back to when I use to attend ccd(a weekly evening class at church) and I remembered a teacher I had was pro-life. She would talk to us about aborations and the types they have to terminate a pregnancy. She showed us pictures and told us how it was killing a baby.
I couldn't get the produre done that day since I was father along. Leaving the clinic I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Reading the papers I had to sign and how the produre was going to be done made me feel even worse. Basically they would tear the baby apart limb by limb. Getting home never felt so good before, alone in my room thinking about the whole sitution and I realized it was wrong for wanting to kill this baby. I made my decision not to go through it after all.
My heart felt at ease, I know seeing the lady before we walked into the clinic was a sign from God. The flyer she handed out was the same one my ccd teacher had showed us. The flyer was still the same, for one reason, because aboration is still done the same way. Either by posioning the baby, tearing it limb by limb or sucking out the baby with a vacuum like thing. Even if I was to go through the abortion, I know at the last minute I would've walked away from it all and keep the baby.
Ever since I was little I was pro-life but when it was me at the other end I was choosing pro-choice. Now I see and can relate to both sides but my heart and way of living is for pro-life. I don't condem or hate the women who get abortions done, each woman has there own story and reason for choosing to end a life. I still don't believe it's right and I hope God and anyone who hears or reads this, that they can forgive me for even thinking about getting it done.

Adoption is what I'm considering for this baby that grows inside me each and everyday. I believe that every family deserves a child to bless their lifes. I have two differents families I'm thinking about giving the baby to. Either to my mom's friend or to my aunt's brother-in-law and sister-in-law. My aunt's brother and sister-in-law, have had two babies before but each one died shortly after their birth due to a disease or sickness. So their unable to have children and at one point were considering adoption. I would love to make them happy by giving them a child.

**I know I wrote alot but I don't just write blogs for my school assignment.